The Asphalt is Always Greyer

Having my friend Kari visit from home last week immediately opened my eyes to what I've missed for the past year: the beauty of New York City---the reason I came.

Self pity dictates that, for the last year, I haven't been able to live a "glamorous NY lifestyle"--but compared to my old life, that's not true. Parties, clubs, museums, Google, Food Network, 1010 WINS and now CondeNast...When I take inventory of what I've experienced in just 11 months, it's baffling. Watching Kari's face light up in the lobby of Grand Central, seeing her awe in Times Square and her tears on a sunset cruise around the island shamed me. While I certainly can't continue to drop the time and money I did when she visited, I still have so many resources at my fingertips.

Almost everyone from my graduating class at the journalism school wanted to come to NYC & I'm one of the handful that did it. They will probably always see my life as more exciting and I will always see theirs as more comfortable. But, just as they can't compare their lives (on the semi-rural west coast) to mine, I can't compare mine (at the start of adult life) to the upper ranks of Manhattan.

Even as I recognize my position and my privileged life, I have to wonder if the grass really will always be greener on the other side, even when you get to live in New York City.

"When I go to farms or little towns, I am always surprised at the discontent I find. And New York, too often, has looked across the sea toward Europe. And all of us who turn our eyes away from what we have are missing life. "
Norman Rockwell


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Monoga-me?

There are 8 million people in this city, but there aren't 4 million couples.

Gay or straight, young or old, it seems like every time you turn around, someone is getting divorced, getting separated or sleeping with a strangely-related other (the son of that publisher who used to be married to the woman next door who used to go out with a woman who works in my building...etc.). I know happily-married or happily-partnered people exist in New York, but they seem few and far between.

In suburban living, a 'normal' couple has a (hopefully) long marriage, 2 kids, a dog, a minivan to carry the kids & dog and a house to store it all. In the city, a 'normal' couple has a short marriage, 1 kid (who's pre-school education costs more than a luxury SUV), a tiny dog that someone else walks, a Metro Card & an apartment with a park view instead of a backyard. Is it possible that in a place where you don't have the space for a white picket fence, you also don't have the same aspirations for, or definition of, a blissful home life?

And do some women living in NYC (with high-powered careers and $500 shoes you would never dream of getting near a sticky child) really have more to live for than the average housewife or do we trick ourselves into believing we don't want the 'stats quo' because it is so very difficult to maintain?
Whatever the reason, New York seems to bread infidelity and discontent. "Home" life here makes me think twice about tying one on in the kitchen instead of at the bar with the other working girls.

At least I know my job isn't going to ask for a prenump; At-will termination is a much less messy affair.


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